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Turns out I offended quite a few people :( - alyburns' (aka sideburns & alyjude) Hiding Place
If you spoke faster than David Hewlett you’d travel back in time: Michael Shanks
Turns out I offended quite a few people :(
and my humble apologies. I'm not sure why (my anger may still be clouding my judgement) so many have defriended me, but I understand. Maybe when I cool down, I'll figure it out and delete the posts but right now, I'm crying for those children and angry with Washington so again, my apologies. But I will continue to stand for Josephine and all the others - while seeing her shining face and big hat on my journal: for that, no apologies.


22 comments or Leave a comment
cluesby4 From: cluesby4 Date: April 15th, 2013 01:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Girl, you and I don't agree to a lot of things politically. Personally, I don't believe gun control will change a single thing. Not until the public and government will address mental health...people are going to continue to hurt others or themselves by guns (legally or illegally obtained), bombs, knives, or even saws at Home Depot. But that is my point of view. Just as you have yours. And the right to have yours.

So as you stated...no apologies need.

But just because we don't agree, doesn't mean we can be friends. And I don't need to read all your posts, just like you don't read all of mine. ;-) So I am so sorry that people have dropped you. The same happened when I was posting about the illness and death of mom. LJ may be a way to leave RL, but it is also a place to relieve stress, pressure and have your voice heard. And hopefully have a sympathetic ear. So the readers need to be a bit more tolerant and selective in their reading.


Edited at 2013-04-15 01:41 am (UTC)
polly_b From: polly_b Date: April 15th, 2013 01:48 am (UTC) (Link)
No apologies needed here. Your journal, your right to post your opinions.

nerthus From: nerthus Date: April 15th, 2013 02:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry you got de-friended by so many; these issues really are sensitive to people, whichever side is taken, but some people are unable to separate the issues from the person voicing their take on said issue. I think some people might feel it's exploitative and hurtful to use those children's images and that their parents are the only ones who might speak of their child in their own legislative efforts; I know your heart was in the right place though I myself would not feel comfortable using the user pics with the children's faces on them.
gillianinoz From: gillianinoz Date: April 15th, 2013 03:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry I didn't comment on your original post - I thought it was very insightful and on-point, and I agree with you 100%

As an Australian I don't always feel as if I have the right to make those sorts of comments - and if I talk about our gun laws I come off smug or bragging - and as I personally had nothing to do with them, I can;t really take credit!

Sorry also you had people defriend you. It's a shame we all can't just agree to disagree sometimes.

kaleecat From: kaleecat Date: April 15th, 2013 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm a million posts/emails behind so I admit I haven't read the particular posts yet.

But -- its your journal, your place & you so have the right to air your own opinions. Otherwise what is the point? No need to apologize in my opinion.

ninja007 From: ninja007 Date: April 15th, 2013 04:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Silly kids, trix are for kids.

Nah, I wasn't offended and I don't feel the need for an apology. If you can't rant on your own LJ page, where can you? If they didn't like it, they should have just kept scrolling. You can't expect everyone to have the same opinion as you, so why unfriend someone for having a different opinion?

Silly people.
knitty_woman From: knitty_woman Date: April 15th, 2013 04:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I think there's a difference between people who just kind of hung around for your fic, and people with whom you have a real relationship. I've defriended a couple of people on LJ whose opinions have bothered me. But that's because I've friended them largely for their fic, and haven't really become 'friends' with them. There are people on my FB page who have very different views from me, but since I've known them for many years, I agree to disagree because we already have a relationship. It's your page and you're entitled to your opinion; I suspect the people who left were those with whom you mostly a 'fic-only' relationship. It's hard not to take it personally, but for many people LJ is an escape, not necessarily a place to engage in political debate, especially on a topic as charged as gun control. If some folks you thought were 'real' friends bailed, then I can understand why you feel hurt; but you really have to wonder whether these folks were friends, since you've always been vocal about your politics. I'd just take a deep breath and move on. :)
bluewolf458 From: bluewolf458 Date: April 15th, 2013 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
The message I get from people defriending you for your views is that they're people who are quite happy to see a gunman go into a school (or anywhere else that people are gathered) and start shooting.

It's your journal; your right to post whatever you want on it, and when it's something you feel strongly about.

And gun control? Ours is quite strict, with even air guns being targeted for control nowadays. Even our police here aren't armed. In America, the right to carry a gun was probably necessary pre-nineteenth century, maybe even pre-twentieth in some areas, but today? I wouldn't have thought so.
snailbones From: snailbones Date: April 15th, 2013 11:23 am (UTC) (Link)


I know you'd never set out to offend anyone, and people ought to be able to disagree and still be friends.

suemc From: suemc Date: April 15th, 2013 12:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear, it is never nice when that happens, but I am surprised because this isn't the first time you made your views known. So why now?

As to the gun laws, being from the UK I find the whole thing very strange. It would be great if we needed no laws, but unfortunately there are always people who will do terrible things with them and we have to do everything we can to keep them from getting guns.Not having guns can do little to no harm, having guns does a lot of harm.

Your journal, your words, your thoughts. {{{hugs}}}

Would you really want to keep those friends, if it meant you could not be yourself, and say what comes from your heart.

Edited at 2013-04-15 12:05 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
mostcrazylady From: mostcrazylady Date: April 15th, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Right on! Criminals and gang members don't buy their guns from legitimate businessmen and don't go through background checks.

That said, you already know the sky would fall if you and I agreed on anything, so your personal opinions are no reason for me to defriend you. Yep, you're stuck with me.
sistermu From: sistermu Date: April 15th, 2013 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
But this attack was not carried out by a criminal (up 'til that point) or a gang member. My understanding is that this sort of attack is never carried out by a criminal or a gang member, but by 'ordinary' members of the community, who would have to go through background checks when they buy their gun in the normal course of things. Is it really such a bad idea to check people's mental health history and criminal record before you sell them a gun? And then if you find someone with a gun who doesn't have a record of their background check, you can instantly confiscate it, get a warrant, or even arrest them, depending on how the law is shaped.

Also, and I just ask for interest's sake, what is the argument against licensing guns in the same way you license cars? Automatic vs stick-shift becomes hand-gun vs rifle. Practical test - shooting and cleaning, theory test - laws and stopping distances/barriers, and in addition, an extra test to check that the gun owner has a plan for what to do in the case of a home invasion, rather than just rushing in blindly. Then, those people who are responsible gun owners can pass the test easily, idiots learn, criminals/nutcases have a chance of being weeded out in the background check, and you create a lot of jobs for new gun instructors and examiners. Anyone who is found with a gun without a valid license can immediately be investigated.
sallye From: sallye Date: April 15th, 2013 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry people have been defriending you. They probably didn't like your idea of posting the pix of the children. I wouldn't like it as a parent, but it's probably the only way the people of our government will get anything done. Unless they see the horribly graphic consequences, they'll continue to support the NRA, who pour lots of money in DC. I know having the Newtown parents right in their faces was the only reason they changed their minds. I imagine once the parents go back home, our esteemed politicians will fall back to their old habits. Our government is so broken, I fear for my country.
math_magician From: math_magician Date: April 15th, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
You are sincere in your beliefs and no one has to read them if they can't handle them. I generally agree with your 'rants' although I don't seem to get as worked up as you do. I can't go along with "We have to face the fact that we're a terrible country". We've made a place here for everybody, even the nuts who don't agree with us. LOL And we have to deal with the consequences of so many divergent outlooks. You are using LJ as a way to work your way through your strong feelings. Probably healthier than a lot of other ways.
vamysteryfan From: vamysteryfan Date: April 15th, 2013 03:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
::smuishes aly::

Your journal, your thoughts, your right to post. End of story.

Sorry people defriended you. Strange to me, but again their right.

Living in DC as I do, I frequently get disgusted with our nation's "leaders". This issue in particular gets me crazy.

One of the reasons I like LJ is reading other people's opinions. It would be a sad day indeed if we couldn't share our opinions.
From: jael_lyn01 Date: April 15th, 2013 09:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Just a thought

Hey, it's your journal.

We're buds, and I just wanted to share a thought, since I'm sure the situation is upsetting, and no one likes the "Now what did I do?" feeling. I'm also certain you were acting with the desire to do good, and wanted to honor the memory of these children.

I offer this observation without reference to the associated stances on the issue. Sandy Hook was a tragedy. You'd have to look hard to find an American of any political stance that wasn't horrified.

What the Sandy Hook parents do on behalf of their murdered children I consider above reproach. If activism is part of their grief process, they are so entitled to it. That said, I don't extend the same sentiments to the general public.

What follows is entirely my own reaction and opinion, and I don't consider it binding on anyone else.

I personally resent it when the victims of any tragedy are used to further a particular political agendas. I consider it disrespectful to the fallen in the extreme, bordering on exploitative. So I guess you could say I consider it offensive on a gut level, and I don't make a distinction about whose side is being promoted.

When you post these pictures, it's an act of solidarity, a way to say you care and you won't forget. Those are admirable emotions and commitments. Even knowing that, it's never the sentiments they evoke for me.

Mileage varies. Diversity with civility. (now watch. I'll be getting the hate mail)

alyburns From: alyburns Date: April 16th, 2013 01:08 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Just a thought

"now watch. I'll be getting the hate mail."

Not from me, you won't. :)

You raise an excellent point and I agree for the most part. People magazine did a wonderful cover of the children that could have been very exploitative (after all, they're in the business to sell magazines), but it was beautifully done and, for me, represented a lovely 'memorial', the same way they post photos of legends/celebrities who has passed away.

We commemorate our lost ones on stamps, coins, posters, etc., but I do see your point about 'using' the children to further an agenda. There we agree and I still don't know if that is what I was doing. I think I just wanted to stand with the parents who have all permitted photos of their children to be used - but that doesn't make that decision the best one.

Food for thought, Jael. Thank you.
From: jael_lyn01 Date: April 16th, 2013 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Just a thought

All we can do is follow our best instincts. That doesn't mean our best instincts will draw us to the same conclusions.

I think we're both good here. Exchange of views and all that.
gershwhen From: gershwhen Date: April 16th, 2013 05:02 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Just a thought

Coming into this really late, I'll say I agree with everything jael_lyn01 posted. I'm not comfortable with anyone using the children's pictures but their parents, so I can see where that might engender a strong emotional reaction from others.

Aly, I don't know how many you lost, and numbers don't really matter, but I do think this was a very emotional issue and some people have very different views on it.
From: (Anonymous) Date: April 16th, 2013 02:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't know who defriended you but from all the comments above, it doesn't look like any were your friends. I know you don't set out to offend, so those who are offended choose their interpretation and you can't be responsible for that. I can see a number of folks hold the 'guns don't kill people, people kill people' and 'making it illegal won't stop the killing' views. Can't say I agree. A simple look at the stats comparing deaths by guns in the US with any other 'rich' nation, like us, Europe, Australia and New Zealand, and you can see that guns do in fact kill a whole lot of innocent people in your country, far more by tens of thousands than in our other countries, even combining their totals. The fact is that guns are more readily available, readily at hand, for those with mental problems, those in the midst of furious rage, those who feel threatened by others, those ... well, anyone who feels a momentary need for whatever reason to act out toward others in a violent way. If the guns aren't so readily available, those moments would pass and people wouldn't be irrevocably dead.
caarianna From: caarianna Date: April 16th, 2013 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry, don't know why this came through as 'anonymous'; I'm sure I'd signed in. Oh, well, the above comment is from me.

In Branson now. GORGEOUS timeshare cabin!!!! 2 bdrms and 2 bath, front porch, back screened porch overlooking ravine, huge living room with fireplace, dining room, kitchen etc etc. Lovely. Will be here until Sat am.
alyburns From: alyburns Date: April 17th, 2013 02:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Don't even think about moving there

for your Winters! LOL!
22 comments or Leave a comment